Max CrackerJack

Life is a Field Trip

2009-01-02T08:34:00.004-05:00

For over twenty years The Syracuse Symphony has offered concerts for school children. When my son was young we'd attend as homeschoolers. The SSO would send out a packet a month before the concerts with background information on the music, worksheeets, a cassette of music and general facts on the composer and orchestral instruments. We always read and listened so when we arrived at the concert, we were psyched. We often sat in the posh box seats (another perk of homeschooling!) and watched the school groups file in. At least one class or two would arrive making comments indicating they had no clue as to what was about to happen in this theatre - would they see a play or a magic show? listen to an anti-drug lecture or slide show on the water cycle? Clearly their teachers had failed to do their job of preparing the children for what they were about to experience.

Parents often fail similarly. On my flights to and from LAX / PHL I had the distinct displeasure of observing children with no toys, books, ipod or even crayons and paper. They howled, whined, screamed and made everyone miserable. But YOU would never do that, okay, but do you brief your kids in advance of where they are going and why? Do you discuss details of the journey and how they can best cope? The trip might be to the dentist, movies, supermarket or grandma's house, the advance work is the same. Too often parents leave children in their parallel universe until it is suddenly "time to go." Kids aren't psychologically prepared nor do they have a chance to gather items that might make the adventure, no matter how ordinary, more pleasant.

When parents behave like the best teachers prepping their class for a field trip, the advance work is worth every minute. No signed permission slip needed!

Lars and the Real Girl - Questions for Teen Viewers

2008-12-29T16:05:00.004-05:00

Okay, here are some things I would have used as discussion starters if I had been at your house when you and your kids watch Lars and The Real Girl.

Mental Illness

Do you think a person could really believe a party doll was a real person?
What kind of delusions have you heard about?
Have you ever heard of people who think dead people are alive?
Do you think the delusion Lars had is similar to the dementia of old people?
What is a mental illness - is it a mental illness to eat too much, to think you are too fat when you are thin, to run around the classroom when you should be sitting down? Is it a mental illness if you shop too much? Who decides what is a mental illness (assignment: read NY Times article on page 1 from 12/18 about upcoming fifth edition of DSM-V)

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/18/health/18psych.html?pagewanted=2&...

Is something a delusion if most people believe in it? How can you tell what is real and what is a delusion?

Discrimination

What would happen to Lars if he lived in your town? Would town folks treat him the way his local town inhabitants treated him in the movie? Why/why not?
Why do people make fun of people with disabilities?
Do you think people are more likely to make fun of folks with physical or mental disabilities and why?
Have you ever made fun of someone who might have had a mental illness? Why? Was there anything someone else (an adult) could have said or done to make you not behave that way?

Religion

When they asked the doctor why Lars thought the party doll was real and how long it would last, she said it would last as long as he needed her. Do you think some people need delusions to cope?
Do you think people who believe in a Religion might be said to have a delusion? If so, how does it help them cope?
When the brother of Lars tried to tell him the party doll wasn't real, Lars couldn't hear him. Do you think people who believe in their Religion can hear you when you argue against their belief?

Sex
Why do people buy party dolls? Are most people who buy them proud of owning them? Do you think the fact that Lars took his party doll out in public was at first seen as funny?
Would the message of this movie have been diluted if Lars didn't say up front that he did not plan to sleep with the party doll?
Would you consider the following to be delusions: kids who have sex without birth control believing they can't get pregnant; kids who have sex believing it is the only way to keep a boyfriend/girlfriend; How are these delusions harmful?

******

Interpreting Classrom Interactions - an ongoing series

2007-05-21T16:34:00.000-05:00

Interpretation of classroom interactions

1) When students arrive, are they waiting for something to happen or do they engage in an activity?

Children who enter a classroom and immediately get busy with a task are usually curious and motivated learners who are taking responsibility for their own learning. When children arrive and are expected to sit quietly awaiting further orders, they are not active participants in their own learning. It has been said, “Intelligence is the ability to see what needs to be done and the knowledge to know how to do it.” Are the children in this class guided toward intelligence or obedience?

2) Are there other adults present besides the teacher? Parents? Student Teachers? Teacher’s aides? If so, how are they involved?

Parental involvement in the classroom means parents know what is going on in school. They don’t have to wait for a report card or a conference. More involved parents means a better student/adult ratio. It is important to note what the adults are doing. Examples of wasted adult potential would include: grading papers, the aide or parents teaching the lessons while the teacher observes, parents working exclusively with their own children – perhaps nagging them to finish an assignment. Examples of positive involvement include: adults reading to individual students or small groups of children, adults taking small groups of children on an outing or to another location in the school, adults explaining work to individual students, adults manning various areas of the classroom to help with student questions.

3) Is everyone doing the same thing at the same time? What is the noise level?

John Dewey, in The School and Society (1900) wrote, “there is a certain disorder in any busy workshop… They are doing a variety of things, and there is the confusion, the bustle, that results from activity.”
A diversity of simultaneous activities may result in a more chaotic atmosphere, but it also increases the likelihood of REAL learning and discovery. Noise is not always bad. Is the noise level a result of laughter, is it the sound of productive people working in one room, or is it the result of disorder, indicative of children out of control? Learning is not always a silent or even quiet pastime. However very loud environments are antithetical to learning.

4) Do the children work independently or in groups?

Some activities lend themselves to independent settings, such as reading. Other activities are more suitably explored in groups: a science experiment might require discussion as to the methods and interpretation of results, work problems in math and historical research are both enhanced by the group approach. Watch out for classrooms where children spent their days isolated from peers, working silently at their desks, interacting only with the teacher.

5) When and how do students approach the teacher and the other adults in the room? When and how do they approach their fellow students?

Educators Charles Rathbone, Maurice Belanger and Roland Barth have described the ideal classroom as “a place of trust and openness, where interpersonal defensiveness has nearly disappeared, where expression of feeling is encouraged by others and accepted by the group. Feelings are aired freely as inhibitions are loosened and people become more and more receptive to honest observations of themselves, their own motives, and the behaviors and motives of others. As communication about these things increases, so does mutual respect and, with both, a greater capacity for tolerance of differences. The result is an increase in an individual’s freedom to change, if and when he finds change desirable.”

Since learning is at heart, a change, you are looking for a classroom that promotes change! Thus you want to see children telling the teacher about something of personal interest and asking the teacher questions that have piqued their curiosity. Less desirable are classrooms where nearly all the interaction is formal and children only ask questions to clarify an assignment or reiterate a fact. You want to see children viewing their peers as experts and sometimes asking other students questions.

6) When and how does the teacher contact a child?

Are children called upon when they don’t have a question or an answer? If so, is this the teacher’s primary method of insuring attentiveness? When you attend a seminar, workshop or meeting, how do you feel if the moderator called on you when you had neither a question or an answer? Children feel the same way! Teachers who conduct lectures punctuated by rapid fire questions to “see if you were listening” is not promoting learning as much as fear.

You don’t want to see a teacher sitting at his/her desk while the students toil away. In business we talk about MBWA – Management By Walking Around, does the teacher stroll the room and if so, who initiates discussions? You want to see a teacher seemingly everywhere at once, asking children if they need help, answering questions from other children, engaging a child in a discussion of a recent book – TBWA!

7) What sorts of conflicts arise and how are they handled?

You are looking for the presence of cliques, gender divisions, scapegoats, bullies, meanness and obscenities. How does the teacher deal with each of these? A teacher’s actions can accentuate gender divisions: “Girls line up, now boys… oh boys, you are sooo much slower than the girls!” Teachers do have the power to discourage gender divisions, cliques, scapegoating and bullying through conscious actions. When teachers arrange children in groups to work on projects (which should happen often), they should be very deliberate about who is a member of each team and work to group children together who have unlike personalities. Teachers must show an awareness that cliques, scapegoating, bullying and gender divisions ARE problems and moreover, the teachers must consider these problems to be within the realm of their job description. Quoting again from educators Charles Rathbone, Maurice Belanger and Roland Barth:

“Awareness of each other’s strengths and weaknesses is something which can be fully realized only in an unstreamed, vertically-grouped class. It leads to, and stems from, understanding, patience and identification with the problems of others. Children who have confidence in themselves can freely admire the work of others in areas where the others are more competent. Such confidence comes, in part, from the awareness that everyone in the class is accepted for all his merits and his weaknesses.”

8) How are physical needs and movements controlled?

For the most part, children are not given a choice about attending school. The best teachers try to give children as many options as possible within the system-imposed constraints. When children must relinquish control over such basic decisions as when to go to the bathroom, drink water or eat a snack, they begin to feel and act more like prisoners than students.

The ideal classroom gives children more autonomy about when and where to go. You want to observe children having some freedom to move about the classroom and the school at large.

9) How flexible is the schedule, including “specials?”

Often the “specials” have the effect of rigidly structuring the school day. When children are shuttled out of the classroom for Art, Gym, Library and Music classes that are not correlated with the in-class work, the effect is a disintegrated day. The ideal scenario is one where the “specials” are coordinated with the academic subjects to there is a harmony in what the children learn and do. Cross-curricular coordination allows a sense of connectivity and promotes learning. In classrooms and schools where there are not “special” teachers, look for signs the classroom teacher is integrating art, music and gym into the daily schedule.

Is there a posted daily schedule in the room and if so, are there periods set aside where children have “choice time?” In some cases the rhythm of the day allows for built-in free time in that the block of time set aside for some activities is longer than the pre-planned assignments. Children, like adults, need some freedom to think, ponder and ruminate. If unstructured time isn’t part of the daily routine, children will be forced to steal it by daydreaming, showing inattention or staring blankly.

Pay attention to how rigidly the teacher adheres to the posted schedule. When a lesson generates a great deal of interest and excitement, does the teacher permit the lesson to run over the allotted time or is there rigid adherence?

10) How are the classroom assets utilized?

If the classroom has a rich supply of manipulatives – hands-on math, educational “toys”, art supplies and computer, notice how they are used? Are children assigned time at the computer? Are the mainipuatives available for just “messing about” (learning by doing!) or are they only used in a more formalized fashion by the teacher conducting a pre-planned lesson? If the children do have “choice time,” do they make use of these assets?

Gummy Bear Math

2007-05-18T17:44:00.000-05:00

I like math, books and candy. Ah, but how to combine my three passions? As a former teacher and home schooling parent, I created a number of lessons or activities that do just that. One is called: “Gummies, Line Up!”

Children and adults of all ages can play. Every person needs four gummies – each a different color (along with a big bowl of gummies in the middle of the table for eating, of course). You need four markers with colors corresponding to the colors of the four gummies; you also need some plain white paper.

Tell the gummies to “Line Up!” Your children line up the four gummies, then ask them to use the markers to record the order of the gummies. For example if your daughter lined up the red gummy first, followed by the yellow, then the green with the orange gummy last –she would draw shapes to represent the gummies – could be circles, or lines, or x’s or if she is artistic: cute little bears. Her drawing would show the red circle first, then the yellow circle, then the green circle and last the orange circle. Thus her paper will accurately reflect her gummy line.

Note, older kids are more likely to wish to represent the gummies more abstractly – perhaps writing “R-Y-G-O” to record the color order described above. Let them discover this method rather than pushing toward it.

Okay, time for the Gummies to line up again, but they have to line up in a different order. Even very young children will find this task easy. For example, the first time they lined up the red gummy was first. This time you might make the red dude second. Let the child decide how to line up the Gummies and once again, record the new order of the gummy colors with the markers on the paper.

Now ask your child to make a hypothesis. How many different ways do you think the gummies can line up and have each line be different? After they make their guess, you can record it and discuss why they guessed this.

Now, continue with the game and gummy munching. Some children will try to organize a pattern as they rearrange the gummies, for example, they will keep the red gummy first for as long as possible, then keep the yellow gummy first etc. Some children won’t see this at first, but soon work to develop some order on these chaotic gummies.

You will want to buy or borrow from the library, Anno’s Mysterious Multiplying Jar by Masairhiro and Mitsumasa Anno. It is a picture book, but plan to read it a few times to yourself before you read it with your kids. Don’t skip the “Afterword” since part of it relates directly to your lining up gummies!

Spoiler alert: don’t read the next part if you want to discover the number of gummy combinations on your own.

When you are looking for the number of different arrangements of things, you are talking factorials. One gummy can only line up one way – we say one factorial, written 1! Equals one.

1!=1

Now two gummies have two arrangements, so 2!=2 (two factorial equals two).

But when you get three gummies, well they have a few options. In fact if “Gummies, Line Up” game seems to bore your very young child, try playing it with just three gummies. You will quickly see that 3!=6.

Now “Gummies, Line Up” has been dealing with four gummies. So what is four factorial? I hope you found 4!=24.

Care to predict how many ways 5 gummies can line up?

The aforementioned Anno book does a great job of explaining the math behind factorials. But if you want the math to help you predict 5!,

3!=3x21=6
4!=4x3x2x1=24

Enjoy your gummies, the math and your book!

Difficult Discussions - Serious Illness or Injury

2007-04-28T10:46:00.000-05:00

It is difficult to talk with children about a friend with a serious illness or injury, below are some suggestions to help you approach the subject and to respond to children’s reactions.

1) Adults should raise the subject.

Because we are uncomfortable talking about serious illnesses, we often decide to wait until a child asks questions. But when children sense you are uncomfortable or made sad by a subject, they will hesitate to bring it up. Waiting for the child to say something is not the ideal approach. An advantage to you bringing up the subject is that you can control the opening words and not feel tongue-tied.

2) Children might say cruel things.

Yes, sometimes children do say hurtful things, but other times words that sound mean are due to ignorance or are defensive. Children will want to find a reason why this “bad thing” happened and why it won’t happen to them. They will look for “bad” things the sick person did that could have brought this on – things they personally don’t do.

“Maybe she doesn’t eat enough meat.”
“Maybe he rides his bike too far.”

These words are often very hard for adults to hear. They get upset when children say the sick friend was “bad.” But children are trying hard to build a wall to protect themselves. They want some control over their lives, they want to be sure they and the people they love won’t have this happen to them.

Sometimes young children will blurt out seemingly insensitive questions such as: “Will he die?” Very young children do not understand that death is forever, so this question does not have the same meaning for that child as it does for an adult. Other children ask this because they desperately want you to reassure them and say “absolutely not.” Since we cannot honestly provide that guarantee, possible responses to this query include:

“There are very smart doctors working hard right now to keep him alive.”
“We are all hoping he won’t die anytime soon.”

Depending on the child, a discussion of death could be appropriate.

3) Synonyms and Euphemisms.

Some words scare adults and we avoid using them with children, for example: “cancer.” But in our effort to not speak these words, we employ euphemisms or common words for minor illnesses. While these words may sound comforting, they often have the opposite impact on children. How confusing and frightening to mention catastrophic or fatal illnesses using the same words children use for sore throats or head colds. It is important to use the name of the disease or the injuries and emphasize how rare this is and how the children are NOT at risk of “getting it.” Beware the temptation to be too detailed or graphic; make the explanation simple, brief and age appropriate but do not use words that describe common maladies.

4) Control your emotions.

This may seem like a lot to ask of adults who are feeling overwhelming emotions and grief over their seriously ill or injured friend, but when talking to children, adults need to be brave. The objective of the conversation is to help children understand and to keep the lines of communication open. Children are upset when adults cry or are visibly shaken and children and adolescents will stop asking and talking if they sense the topic is too awful for adults to bear. One way to talk about this difficult subject is with words about feelings – sad, angry, curious. You can talk about what makes each of you feel sad or angry and how you show it, or don’t show it. Children should be assured that they might feel sad and want to cry, but sometimes they can feel very sad but not cry. There isn’t one right way to show our feelings.

5) Knowing all the answers.

Children and even seemingly aloof teens still believe adults know all the answers. But some situations are not comforting and some things are unknowable. Practice saying “I just don’t know the answer to that question.” Children are surprisingly good at detecting dishonesty, so it is better to say you don’t know than to fabricate answers.

6) Doing something.

Children, like adults, want to know how they can help. Be prepared to moderate a discussion on what the children can do to make your sick friend feel better. If children want to make cards, create a quiet environment to help them think of words that will comfort. Empower the children and youth to know that even if they are not adults, they have the capacity to make people feel better.

Good Teaching Part Two: Classsroom Observation of Interactions

2007-04-09T15:56:00.000-05:00

With a little luck combined with tact and a degree of charisma, you will gain entry to observe the classrooms of your choice. The ideal situation is to arrange, in advance, a day to observe each classroom. You won’t require an entire day, but there are advantages to observing only one classroom in a single day. First off, your thoughts are less likely to run together. Secondly, you will be able to observe equivalent periods in each class, ie: arrival, morning work periods, etc.

Plan to arrive early, before the children. Once in the classroom, you will want to reiterate to the teacher the same explanation you put forth to the administrator for observing this classroom. Take a few minutes to put the teacher at ease then find a spot where you can observe the school day unfold around you.

Since you already paid a visit to this room to observe the physical attributes, today you will focus on interactions. The following checklist of ten items will guide your observation.

1. When students arrive, are they waiting for something to happen or do they engage in an activity?

2. Are there other adults present besides the teacher? Parents? Student Teachers? Teacher’s aides? If so, how are they involved?

3. Is everyone doing the same thing at the same time? What is the noise level?

4. Do the children work independently or in groups?

5. When and how do students approach the teacher and the other adults in the room? When and how do they approach their fellow students?

6. When and how does the teacher contact a child?

7. What sorts of conflicts arise and how are they handled?

8. How are physical needs and movements controlled?

9. How flexible is the schedule, including “specials?”

10. How are the classroom assets utilized?

Check this blog often. Posting soon will be:

Interpretations of classroom interactions.

Interpreting the Physical Attributes of a Classrom

2007-04-02T18:37:00.000-05:00

Explanations and interpretations of classroom physical attributes.

Remember that NO classroom will include all of the attributes described below. While it is dangerous to assign too much weight to a single piece of data, this checklist of attributes taken as a whole is helpful to get an initial sense of a particular classroom.

We now refer back to the: Check list for Classroom Observation Physical Attributes

1. Are there desks or tables?

Tables allow for more peer teaching and student interaction. Working in teams is a plus.

2. How are the desks arranged? Rows? Clusters?

Clusters, like tables, allow for more peer-to-peer teaching.

3. What is hanging on the walls? Bulletin Board?
a. If it is student work – is it all the same project or assignment?
b. Is it only perfect work?
c. Is only one subject displayed (all math for example)?
d. How current are the displays?

If all the work is from the same assignment, it is likely to be boring and obvious that some students did neater, more accurate work than others. While neatness and accuracy are good, why not hang only perfect work? If only perfect work is displayed, one wonders: does the teacher reward perfection by hanging these assignments or are all children given the chance work again and again until perfection is achieved? If only one subject is displayed, it may suggest an emphasis on this subject area. If your child shares a passion for this subject, this classroom could be a good match.

If the work is current, the teacher cares enough to rotate displays, making the classroom an interesting, ever-changing environment. This also means a child who doesn’t have anything on display this week, might have something posted next week.

4. Is there a daily schedule posted? How flexible is it? Are times listed?

While a rigid schedule may be for looks only, it also can be a warning about the sort of teaching going on. If a teacher opts, in the absence of external factors (ie: changing classes), to adhere to limiting math or reading to 45 minutes a day, how flexible is this teacher?

5. Are the teacher purchased wall decorations interesting?

Teachers often hang purchased posters and charts. Is it possible to discern why each is hung? Is it a reproduction of a masterpiece? Is it meant to inform (a chart of all the US Presidents), does it appear to match the current subject the children are studying and serve to reinforce the aforementioned student assignments? Or is the poster just brightening up the room? You are looking for a stimulating environment, one which will excite your child’s curiosity.

6. Is there a classroom library?
a. Does it consist exclusively of textbooks?
b. Note the variety, number and titles of the books

Teachers have many avenues for building up a classroom library besides spending their own money (which many do). They can borrow library books from the public library and/or school library. They can order free paperbacks by participating in monthly classroom book clubs. The presence of a classroom library is a crucial element for any classroom. You want your child to have easy access to books besides texts.

7. Is there any furniture besides the aforementioned desks/chairs?

It is not very comfortable reading at a desk; nor is it very practical to perform science experiments within the confines of a desk. A variety of furniture suggest a variety of learning opportunities besides doing seat work or problem sets from a textbook.

8. Are there any specially designed areas/corners of the room?

You are looking for a room with areas such as a carpeted section with cushions or a bean bag chair for reading, or an easel for art.

9. How many, if any, computers are present?

Does every student have a computer? Does only the teacher have a computer? Is there a computer section of the classroom? More computers are better than fewer, and newer are better than older. Does it appear the computers are used as a reward or do you see printers and evidence of computers as tools for work? Can you tell if the computers have an internet connection?

10. Regarding Science, do you observe:
a. Animals: fish, rodents etc. (class pets, not school vermin!)
b. Plants: any obvious experiments – mold growing etc.
c. Lab equipments: microscopes, magnifying glasses, test tubes
d. A Science experiment set up and if so, is it part of an ongoing investigation or just an exhibit?
11. Regarding Math, do you observe:
a. Manipulatives: hands-on math items such as Cuisenaire rods, tangrams, algebra cubes
b. Measuring equipments: scales, meter sticks, compasses, tape measures,
c. Results recorded: graphs, charts, math riddles conundrums
12. Regarding Social Studies, do you observe
a. Maps or globes
b. Projects or exhibits from other lands/times
c. Any 3-D exhibits or is everything 2-D

For Science, Math and Social Studies you want to see lots of hands-on materials. All people learn best when they start with concrete objects and move to abstract concepts. Different learning styles require different materials. The absence of materials does not mean they don’t exist, they may be tidied up in a closet. But the presence of hands-on materials is a very good sign.

13. Wrapping it up
a. What is your overall feeling?
b. Is this a comfortable place to spend 6+ hours every day?
c. Does it feel more like an office, an institution, a living room?

Would YOU want to spend your days here? You’ll probably say no if the room is sterile, austere and institutional. That is not a setting you want for you or for your child.

Now you have completed your tour of an empty classroom. Coming soon – using charisma to gain access to see a real class in progress! Check this blog often!

Evaluating Good Teaching - Part One - Getting Started

2007-03-27T16:19:00.000-05:00

First make an appointment to meet with the Principal. You need to be non-threatening and use language to show you are calm, rational, intelligent and want to work as a team. Explain your rationale:

“I have a fourth grade child and I must decide whether to send her to public or private school.”

“I am considering relocating to this area; one factor which will affect my decision is the atmosphere of the fourth grade classrooms.”

“”I understand you have four sections of grade four, could you tell me a little about each of the teachers in these classes and could I set up a time to observe these classes?”

Now you need to gain access to the classrooms. The Principal is likely to say something like “All our Fourth grade teachers are excellent.” This is your cue to ask to see the rooms, even if it is after school hours.

Classroom Observation: Physical Attributes

Below is a checklist for observing the physical attributes of a classroom. Print copies of this checklist and take it with you to every classroom you visit.

Check list for Classroom Observation Physical Attributes

1. Are there desks or tables?

2. How are the desks arranged? Rows? Clusters?

3. What is hanging on the walls? Bulletin Board?
a. If it is student work – is it all the same project or assignment?
b. Is it only perfect work?
c. Is only one subject displayed (all math for example)?
d. How current are the displays?

4. Is there a daily schedule posted? How flexible is it? Are times listed?

5. Are the teacher purchased wall decorations interesting?

6. Is there a classroom library?
a. Does it consist exclusively of textbooks?
b. Note the variety, number and titles of the books

7. Is there any furniture besides the aforementioned desks/chairs?

8. Are there any specially designed areas/corners of the room?

9. How many, if any, computers are present?

10. Regarding Science, do you observe:
a. Animals: fish, rodents etc. (class pets, not school vermin!)
b. Plants: any obvious experiments – mold growing etc.
c. Lab equipments: microscopes, magnifying glasses, test tubes
d. A Science experiment set up and if so, is it part of an ongoing investigation or just an exhibit?

11. Regarding Math, do you observe:
a. Manipulatives: hands-on math items such as Cuisenaire rods, tangrams, algebra cubes
b. Measuring equipments: scales, meter sticks, compasses, tape measures,
c. Results recorded: graphs, charts, math riddles conundrums

12. Regarding Social Studies, do you observe
a. Maps or globes
b. Projects or exhibits from other lands/times
c. Any 3-D exhibits or is everything 2-D

13. Wrapping it up
a. What is your overall feeling?
b. Is this a comfortable place to spend 6+ hours every day?
c. Does it feel more like an office, an institution, a living room?

Check this blog often, posting soon will be:
Explanations and interpretations of classroom physical attributes

How to say: "I'm Sorry."

2007-03-22T12:16:00.000-05:00

How to Apologize

Children learn social skills by both observation and direct instruction. The trouble with apologizing is that children are often not present when adults are role modeling this skill, thus it is especially important to teach your child Apologizing Skills. In the list below, the word “child” is meant to include adolescents.

I. What did you do wrong?
a. Do not tell the child what s/he did wrong.
b. Ask leading questions such as, “Do you know why I am upset?”
c. If the child is genuinely clueless, ask situation specific questions such as: “In dance class why do you think Ms. LeBlanc was upset with you?”
d. The goal is to get the child to articulate what s/he did wrong.

II. Why did you do it?
a. This is important for the child’s growth, but should not be viewed as an open invitation for excuses
b. Listen to your child’s explanation but at no time give her/him any assurance that the explanation negates the behavior
c. The goal is to get the child to identify situations which are likely to cause misbehavior with an eye toward avoiding these situations in the future.

III. Who was hurt by your actions?
a. Children have a hard time seeing adults as victims and often adults are quick to reassure a child a misbehavior was not so bad, but children need to realize how their misbehavior has hurt others, children and adults included
b. Be sure to help the child acknowledge the people who were indirectly hurt by her/his behavior – emphasize the concept that children’s behavior reflects upon their family including their parents.

IV. What can you do to make sure this does not happen again?
a. This step reflects back on the “Why did you do it?” question posed above.
b. You may wish to do a role play with the child - emphasize that in life there are rarely “do overs” but let’s imagine we could. Encourage the child to pick responses and actions that lead to an outcome in which no misbehavior would have resulted.

V. What is a good time and place to make the apology?
a. Children often prefer to send an email or write a letter of apology, this is not as effective as face-to-face or at minimum, a phone call
b. Help the child pick a good time to make the apology – sooner is better and a time when the person to whom you’re apologizing isn’t busy or distracted

VI. Step by Step to “I’m sorry.”
a. Write down these steps for your child and have him/her practice them until they sound genuine
b. Emphasize that at no time during the apology should your child mention or even refer obliquely to any “excuse” or reason for her/his misbehavior.
c. I am sorry I ______________________(what s/he did wrong)
d. I know that by doing that I _________________ (specifically identify the bad outcome – I broke your vase, I disrupted your class, I lost your trust etc)
e. I am genuinely sorry and I am working to make sure this never happens again (child might add how s/he is working on this prevention.)
f. I know my apology can’t erase what I have done, but I hope you can forgive me. In addition to this apology, is there anything else I can do to make this situation better? (paying for a broken item, etc.)
g. I really am sorry.

This technique for apologizing not only teaches children an important social skill, it also advances their moral development as they are urged to be empathetic and see a situation from the view of another person. Ideally, children should practice the art of apologizing at a young age and if they can make their first few apologies to understanding adults, they will be more skilled when the time comes to apologize to another child who might be less than magnanimous in terms of forgiveness.

A Taste of Fractions

2007-03-19T10:42:00.000-05:00

It was a warm spring afternoon when I suggested the neighborhood kids, ranging in age from four to six, take the baby food jars outside and fill each about 1/3 full of dirt. They seemed reluctant as they headed toward the back door and it was Jennifer who spoke up saying “Isn’t 1/3 a fraction? We haven’t had fractions yet.”

My first thought? These kids need to get cooking!

In order for basic math concepts like fractions to make the leap from a lesson in a textbook, to an everyday experience, children need to develop an intimate number sense. When children are able to meet fractions in the kitchen prior to their arrival in the classroom, they will KNOW that 1/4 + 1/4 they can’t be 1/8 (a common error among those new to fractions) – they may not know the algorithm, but they can visualize a concrete representation of these fractions. They can “see and feel” 1/4 + 1/4 = 1/2.

To achieve fractional facility, not only do kids and adults need to cook together often and for fun, adults need to narrate and play games with the amounts. Depending on your child’s age and familiarity with cooking and math, some of the following activities will be appropriate. A few words of caution - don’t try to do too many activities at once. You want the “fun with fractions” to be seamlessly incorporated into the cooking. You do NOT want your child to feel like the cooking project is a rouse to “sneak” in some math (even if it is!).

1) “What if we have extra guests?”
Look at the recipe together, talk about the measurements, begin with the whole numbers of things like “2 eggs” or “1 stick of butter.” Ask your child how many eggs or how much butter you would need if you wanted to double the recipe. What if you wanted to only make half as much? Set the scene for these queries by noticing the yield – if the recipe says it serves 6, suggest you have 12 people coming for dinner or, if your family is small, what if you want the recipe to only serve 3 people. Play around with the ingredient amounts, halving and doubling.

2) “Wrap your tongue around these words!”
When you look at the recipe, use math words when examining the fractions – talk about the number on the “top” of the fraction as the numerator and the number on the bottom as the “denominator.” Many math students are so overwhelmed with the vocabulary they stop listening before the calculations begin. Hearing these words early and often at home makes them familiar long before the math book is opened.

3) “No matter how you write it.”
As you look at the numerators and denominators, point out that any fraction, such as 1/4 can be written with the line between the numerator and denominator at a diagonal or horizontal. Tiny differences like this are invisible to our eyes, but kids see them and don’t see those two fractions as identical.

4) “Liquid Hypothesis”
Using a one-cup measuring cup with the fractions labeled, and a measuring cup that is only 1/4 cup, ask which one should be used for measuring 1/4 cup. Your child is likely to pick the individual 1/4 cup. Have the child fill it with water and dump the water into the one-cup measure – notice how it fills it to the 1/4 line. Ask your child to may a guess or hypothesis as to what line the water will be if you fill up the 1/4 cup again and dump another 1/4 cup of water into the measuring cup. Repeat until the cup is full. Talk about how it takes 4 of the 1/4 cups to fill the whole measuring cup. Discuss how if you could cut the one-cup measuring cup into four equal parts, each would look like your little 1/4 cur measure. Next time you cook repeat this activity with 1/3 and 1/2.

5) “The Mystery of the Missing Cup”
The recipe calls for 1/4 cup of some ingredient, so you ask your child what you’d do if you had a tablespoon in your measuring set, but no measuring cups. Free feel to insert your background story here. Did a bear sneak in your kitchen in search of honey and take your measuring cups? Did the maybe the cups went off in search of adventure. But the crux of the problem is - how can the tablespoon help? Lead your child to make a hypothesis as to how many tablespoons are in 1/4 cup, then test the hypothesis with the tablespoon, measuring cup and water. You may want to continue this game with more missing measuring cups and varying amounts need 1/2 cup? need 3/4 cup? need 1 cup? Each time have your child think about how many tablespoons would be needed to replace the missing measuring cups.

Happiness is....

2007-03-09T10:43:00.000-05:00

I went to the Juvenile Detention Center here in Ocala to talk to ~100 incarcerated teens. Black and White, Male and Female. I talked to them about what makes humans happy.

I told them the story I read about monkeys in Gibraltar.

"Monkeys like to groom each other (think hair braiding). Scientists always figured the monkey getting groomed was the one who would feel happiest, get the psychological benefit. But it is hard to ask monkeys how happy they are. It is easy to ask, but they don’t do a good job explaining so we can understand. But scientists know that when we are happy, humans or monkeys, we are less stressed and thus if you measure some stress hormones you can tell how stressed or happy someone or a monkey is. So they measured the stress hormones of the monkeys before and after grooming. They measured the hormones of the monkey being groomed and the one doing the grooming."

"The researchers were surprised by the findings. In fact they thought they did the experiment wrong so they did it again and again, but always the same findings. The monkeys who were less stressed, who were happiest, were the ones DOING the grooming. In fact, the more monkeys one monkey groomed, the less stress and the happier the monkey. "

At this point the cafeteria was silent - not a peep from the teens in orange jump suits, the teachers, guards or deputies lining the walls. I wondered if they were holding their breath about the political correctness of a story about "monkeys." Naw. I continued.

"Okay, so enough of the monkeys, what about people? A group of scientists decided to do an experiment. They had nearly 200 people. First the people had to answer questions about how much they liked their lives, how happy they were at home, school with family and work. Then half of them, randomly chosen, went to room B, then half to room A. In the room they had to answer lots of other questions. Then the folks in room A were given an envelope. It had a note and money in it. The note told them that they were being paid $20 (all one dollar bills) for answering questions. The note also said the people in room B were getting no money. They were told if they wanted they could put some of their money in the envelope and it would be shared with the folks in room B, but they didn’t have to do this.The people did one of three things – no money, half the money, a dollar. What would you do?"

Okay, I confess, the real experiment involved $10, but I figured these kids would scoff at such a paltry sum. So I made the amount $20 for emotional impact. I asked kids to raise their hands to show whether they would keep the $20, give away $10 or give away $1. Most of the kids didn't respond at all. It was as if I were speaking a foreign language. I think they were worried I was setting a trap. Those who did respond by holding up their hands were mostly the white kids and they mostly chose to keep the $20.

I continued my story telling them that most of the adults kept the money too, but as the folks left, they had to do one more worksheet about how happy they were and surprisingly the people who gave away money were happier than those who did not and those who gave away more of their money were happier than those who gave away less.

Hmmmm.

I am still getting nothing from this audience. No sighs, no scoffs, no raised eyebrows. I feel like I am talking to the walls. So I tell three more stories about happiness. Condensing studies to make the story easier to follow:

"A group of Psychology Professors wanted to answer the question: what makes people happy. Psychologists study why humans do what they do.

So the Psychology Professors gave their students a strange homework assignment, the kids had to sit in a room together and talk about the people and things who trouble them and make them unhappy. Therapy – group – counseling. The students did this. Then students had to write down how they felt afterwards. The Psychology Professors thought the students would feel better by talking about their troubles.

Wrong. The students felt sadder. When they talked and listened about all those sad things, they got into a bad mood and they were not happy.

Next the Psychology Professors gave the students another strange homework assignment. Over the weekend they had to do only things that made them really happy, they had to just have LOTS of fun.

You can imagine what they did for fun, they broke rules, had parties, – drugs, sex, you get the idea."

For the first time the audience responds and I see nods and smiles, oh yeah, they are imagining fun. So I add:

"None of them got locked up for what they did, but when they had to write about how they felt after their weekend of fun, many wrote that they were pretty happy during the weekend, but afterwards they didn’t feel very happy and some felt absolutely lousy.

Then the Psychology Professors gave the students one last strange homework assignment. They had to do something that was good for someone else, but wasn’t really fun for them. One boy who was afraid of needles, donated blood. Another person collected many of her favorite clothes and took them to people who didn’t have clothes. When the students wrote about THIS assignment, this doing good even when it does not seem like fun, they wrote about how happy it made them feel, both doing it and for days afterwards.

They didn’t get paid for their work, sometimes the people they were helping didn’t thank them, but the students felt really good and happy. Doing good made them feel good! I know people who help feed homeless folks in soup kitchens. I know people who help build houses habitat for humanity. They are doing good for others, but they know a secret, one they don’t talk about a lot – they feel good afterwards."

Now I pause and ask for questions. A white girl up front raises her hand and asks "Why you telling us about happiness?" I surmise she is looking for a "moral of the story" and I tell her I refuse to give one, that I want her (and the other kids) to ponder these stories and figure out why I told them. A white boy raises his hand and suggests I am telling these stories because "It feels good to do good." Basically he parrots what I said.

Another question from another white boy, possibly Hispanic: "If you want to be happy Miss, why don't you get me out of here." I smile at this and tell him that would make me happy if I was sure it was the right thing to do. I expect him to tell me why it is, but instead, with arms outstretched, he wiggles his fingers as if to hypnotize me. I laugh with him, everyone else is still pretty silent.

Another question from another white boy. He genuinely looks baffled. "Miss I do not see how giving away money could ever make you happy."

Cool, I am about to talk to this question when somewhere in my peripheral vision I see a white fist connect with a black face and just as fast, a black fist mirror the move. The kids nearby the brawlers leap from their seats as two large Deputies rush in and remove the punchers.

I've lost more than the two fighters, my audience is gone. Adults and kids are looking at the deputies and their struggling prisoners.

I wrap it up and thank the audience. I leave feeling frustrated that I never developed any rapport with this audience. Maybe I was on the precipice of it when the fight started, but maybe I am kidding myself. Since I do not feel so good, I wonder if I was doing any good.

Where in the World is the Pokey Little Puppy?

2007-03-06T15:03:00.000-05:00

Third grader Chipper is struggling with his phonics book. There is a drawing of a top for a pot and next to it “L _ D.” Chipper’s task is to pick the correct letter to fill in the blank to make the appropriate word. When I approach him, Chipper is painstakingly trying to make letter sounds to complete the word. He works his way through the alphabet, right past “i” without finding a solution. When we talk, I learn Chipper doesn’t know the word “lid” and when reading, he never expects books to make sense.

Children like Chipper are behind from the beginning. They’ve never met Pat the Bunny, Little Toot or the Pokey Little Puppy. They have never joined the rabbit in saying Goodnight Moon. They sit in kindergarten classrooms with peers who have been read over a thousand books, but they have heard fewer than a hundred. For the most part they are poor and their parents are not educated. Many of them appear bright and eager to learn, but at age five, they are already so far behind.

Educators talk about “decoding” and teaching reading “skills.” Children are tested and retested and taught and retaught. But literacy is more than achieving a set of skills and passing standardized tests. Our 100 book children are missing an awareness that books make sense and tell stories. They’re missing the rich vocabulary of literature; they are missing the joy of adventure, magic and silliness found in books.

We need to get all children, of every age and in every grade, who started school behind and have only fallen further and further behind, to discover the world of books and to make up for lost time. Making 100 book children into thousand book children takes money, time and people. We cannot continue to believe that since there have always been 100 book children, we should accept the status quo and not dedicate our resources to these children. We cannot continue to leave so many children behind.

Tell me about the time when...

2007-03-06T13:24:00.000-05:00

We are all libraries of stories waiting to be told.

“Grandpa” I said to my maternal grandfather, “Tell me about your job on Wall Street –how does it work?”
“Kathleen, I’ve been in this business for over 50 years and I still don’t know how it works.”

“Grandpa” I said to my husband’s paternal grandfather. “Tell me about your life in Ireland, before you emigrated. Tell me about being a wireless operator in World War One.”

“Now Kathleen, why do you want to hear about all that old stuff?”

My favorite metaphor for knowledge and learning is the jigsaw puzzle. When I throw pieces at you that don’t connect to anything, there is a good chance you’ll lose them or at least not be able to find them when you need them. But when you have been working on those periwinkle and turquoise pieces that make up the sky and I give you a piece with edges of periwinkle, turquoise and cyan, you’ll know just where to attach it. When we tell stories to children, we give them a place for adding more pieces. When adolescents read about the past in their Social Studies texts, these events seem less “long ago and faraway” when they know stories of parents and grandparents who were touched by these very events.

“It was Sunday morning and we sat around the radio listening to the very scary news that America had just been attacked from the air by Japan.”

“See the scar on my forehead? I got it when I was just a small boy. It was from the sharp point on the front of the porter’s cart in the train station. There were hundreds of us, maybe thousands, crowding the station trying to get out of India when Pakistan became a country.”

So find a child, find an adolescent and tell your stories. Tell the stories of your life, so they will understand the history they study in school is more than a timeline covered with an endless recitation of facts. Tell the stories of your adventures and romance to remind these youngsters that once we too were young. Tell the stories of your failures and your perseverance despite the odds, so they will be inspired to know troubles can be overcome. Tell them your silly stories so they can share theirs with you. Don’t wait another day, go tell your stories. It’s easy, just begin with “once upon a time….”